I'm smirking at myself for yesterday's post...

Boy o' boy, I have issues.  The good thing, one of my goals is to start visiting with a counselor on a regular basis.  As I watch videos, listen to podcasts, and read books about self-improvement it's apparent to me that everyone who values self-improvement needs help in all areas of life.  I need someone to help me understand my software, hardware and how/why they are wired they way they are.  An example, I have a deep rooted issue with people raising their voices to me, telling me I'm doing something wrong, or showing disappointment in me...I take it so personally that I shut down have a difficult time resolving the real issue of actually trying to improve.  It's so difficult to sit back and look or listen at the situation logically and understand the long term benefits of what needs to be done, but rather...I self destroy and become disconnected for a certain amount of time.

An example...

I had my year end review last week and the comment came up..."you are off track and we'll get you back on track."

Bullcrap!!!

I work hard, stay busy, do a better round that the majority of operators here, clean up the facilities more often, and overall stay upbeat about everything.

But at the heart, my supervisor was discussing my patients in learning and willingness to take direction.  Which is true.  Instead of applying his comment directly to the issue, I wanted to challenge his comment regarding the entire scope of my last year's performance.  I still have some issues, but the more I talk it through, the more I understand.

My development and end goal is not to be better at rounds, clean up, or stay busy...but to know the process so I can teach, train, and help others in their responsibilities.

hell ya...I already feel better.

I do find that when I grasp a concept regarding the process, it's highly satisfying and rewarding.