Wednesday, August 25, 2021

growing...grounding

I’ve been using the grounding techniques a few times a day…

When my mind is racing…when I find myself thinking too much about a certain person or certain stress…when my emotions are higher than usually, specifically when I’m frustrated at a person or situation.

On Monday I did a small flow test for going on the board and I failed miserably.  It was decided that I need to pulled off from training on the board. Initially I was angry about it, by the time grounded a few times, removed myself from the reality of the situation, I was okay with it.

I don’t think I ever wanted to be on the board but I was looking for something to make more money.  I’m disappointed that I’ll miss out on upgrade pay and sitting inside during the cold months, but I like being active, I like doing little projects and it keeps me busy.  Sitting in the control room makes for a long day and lately, my mind wonders too much.

The grounding helps me stay patient.  I find myself racing into the future, expecting, or wanting change before there is any action taken to create change.  As much as I am learning about modifying my thinking, establishing boundaries…grounding my feelings…I need more time to have it become instant in those moments.  I’m still amped in my feelings…ideally, I want to be able to instantly ground myself without exercises to act on my feelings.

The rush of emotions, positive and negative are still strong.


Monday, August 23, 2021

Grounding Technique

Brett passed along a little exercise for me to test when there is an imbalance.  Or maybe when my feelings are amp up and it difficult to control.  Again, feelings are to give me information…

My experience, my feelings are strong and have a challenging time manage my reaction…I need to find a way to control or suppress my reaction until I’m in a good place to address it, specifically ask a direct question rather than making a ½ cocked comment.  Brett used the example of Christmas morning…the excitement of that moment and tempering it down.  It also swings to the other side of the spectrum…

I’ve already used this exercise to push my anxiousness aside…specifically dealing with staying patient on my process of re-wring my head, attacking my financial goals, and seeing results on all fronts.

Here is the diagram…and I think it will be a good way to help me sleep at night…stop my mind from racing…control my overthinking…and find balance quicker.

The technique is to go through each of these steps, and concentrating of each element with the greatest detail. I like it.


Sunday, August 22, 2021

Talk 8/21/21 - Camp Review - Priesthood -> Tempe -> Mission

The Alchemist is one of my favorite books...a recurring dream troubles Santiago, a young and adventurous Andalusian shepherd. He has the dream every time he sleeps under a sycamore tree that grows out of the ruins of a church. During the dream, a child tells him to seek treasure at the foot of the Egyptian pyramids. Santiago consults a gypsy woman to interpret the dream, and to his surprise she tells him to go to Egypt. A strange, magical old man named Melchizedek, who claims to be the King of Salem, echoes the gypsy’s advice and tells Santiago that it is his Personal Legend to journey to the pyramids. Melchizedek convinces Santiago to sell his flock and set off to Tangier. When Santiago arrives in Tangier, a thief robs him, forcing him to find work with a local crystal merchant. The conservative and kindly merchant teaches Santiago several lessons, and Santiago encourages the merchant to take risks with his business. The risks pay off, and Santiago becomes a rich man in just a year. Santiago decides to cash in his earnings and continue pursuing his Personal Legend: to find treasure at the pyramids. He joins a caravan crossing the Sahara desert toward Egypt and meets an Englishman who is studying to become an alchemist. He learns a lot from the Englishman during the journey. For one, he learns that the secret of alchemy is written on a stone called the Urim and Thummim. The ultimate creation of alchemy is the Master Work, which consists of a solid called the Philosophers Stone that can turn lead to gold, and a liquid called the Elixir of Life that can cure all ills. Santiago learns the Englishman is traveling with the caravan to the Saharan oasis, where a powerful, 200-year-old alchemist resides. The Englishman plans to ask the alchemist the secret of his trade. As it turns out, the caravan must make an extended stop at the Oasis in order to avoid increasingly violent tribal wars taking place in the desert. There, Santiago falls in love with Fatima, who lives at the oasis. During a walk in the desert, Santiago witnesses an omen that warns of an attack on the historically neutral oasis. He warns the tribal chieftains of the attack, and as a result, the oasis is successfully defended against the assault. The alchemist gets word of Santiago’s vision and invites Santiago on a trip into the desert, during which he teaches Santiago about the importance of listening to his heart and pursuing his Personal Legend. He convinces Santiago to leave Fatima and the caravan for the time to finish his journey to the pyramids, and he offers to accompany Santiago on the next leg of his trip. While the alchemist and Santiago continue through the desert, the alchemist shares much of his wisdom about the Soul of the World. They are mere days away from the pyramids when a tribe of Arab soldiers captures them. In exchange for his life and the life of Santiago, the alchemist hands over to the tribe all of Santiago’s money and tells the soldiers that Santiago is a powerful alchemist who will turn into wind within three days. Santiago feels alarmed because he has no idea how to turn into the wind, and over the next three days he contemplates the desert. On the third day, he communicates with the wind and the sun and coaxes them to help him create a tremendous sandstorm. He prays to the Hand That Wrote All, and at the height of the storm he disappears. Santiago then reappears on the other side of the camp, and the tribesmen, awed by the power of the storm and by Santiago’s ability, let him and the alchemist go free. The alchemist continues to travel with Santiago as far as a Coptic monastery several hours from the pyramids. There, he demonstrates to Santiago his ability to turn lead into gold using the Philosopher’s Stone. He gives Santiago gold and sends him off. Santiago begins digging for the treasure at the foot of the pyramids...

I was fortunate enough to be a part of the Aaronic Priesthood Youth camp this last month, and you’ve heard a few highlights from most of the young men and Brother Merrick. Our goal for the camp was to create a highlight, a turning point, and help everyone in attendance get on the path towards their personal legend…just like Santiago.

Finding your personal legend is finding the best version of yourself through trial and error, exploring life’s adventures through pleasure and knowing if it’s part of the legend or fighting against it. It’s also experiencing pain and how to process it in a positive way. In life's journey we are going to experience all kinds of emotions and feelings... information to help us formulate the best path forward.. Knowing the difference between love and fear. And possibly the most important part of our path...finding honor in the pursuit of what you truly want out of life.

Unlike wild animals, we need more out of life than survival and basic instincts. A beaver wakes up every day with the intention of making his pond better...never does the thought enter his mind that the beaver upstream has a bigger pond or more to eat. Now our four legged friends get used to the affection we provide for them, but they don’t compare that affection with what a pet up the street is receiving?

Our lives are full of layers that give us pleasure and pain, love and fear, humor and sadness. ??? Are we not all pursuing the same thing...a consistent and reliable source of happiness. Along our journey to find this happiness, we realize what our core needs are and it’s different for everyone...for one it might be a sense of adventure...hiking, hunting, fishing, exploring nature and find joy in our father’s creation. Another might be emotional fulfilment and affection, they want to give love and receive love and will sacrifice financial and physical well-being to have that love in their life. Competition, humor, wealth, knowledge or prestige...there are so many paths people wander to find joy. Unfortunately, some stop and just try to survive life, wandering...going day in and day out with a routine that provides little resistance and little if not any reward.

Our goal for YM camp was to create an environment to get the boys to hear a message, feel the spirit and keep the option of pursuing a life that includes the gospel, specifically...priesthood progression, temple attendance, and fingers crossed...serving a mission.

We had excellent speakers lined up...Bishop Skidmore talked about turning points and it instantly became the theme of our camp. Brother Linnemeyer spoke about mission experiences and building a solid foundation for our lives. Bishop Erickson reviewed the talk by Elder Holland and testified about the joys of working together in pursuit of the rewards given by Heavenly Father. Brother Rusty Kaiser shared his experience of the Lord has a plan for you, trust his timeline for you. President Deardan talked about a relationship that he formed from his mission, in his words...brotherhood that was formed in the pre-existence...a promise to find...testify of the truthfulness of the gospel. I talked about the importance of creating good habits now to strengthen and prepare for our future. Brother Paul Kaiser shared his conversion story and what he wanted and how that changed once the gospel changed his life. To finish the night we had Teryn Thatcher, recently crowned Miss Teen Wyoming, she talked about what a girl is looking for in someone to date. It was encouraging to hear her talk about taking care of themselves physically, staying clean and taking care of their bodies. She shared stories about boys at college that freely gave of themselves through service and being open about their feelings. Hearing her talk about the difference between boys that know how to express themselves in a healthy way and boys that give a don’t care vibe...was refreshing and hopefully motivating for the boys to learn how to communicate better and not through texting, snapchat or someone else’s vines. The story that really touched me was when a few boys overheard them talking about not having the sacrament because of Covid...the boys left the room, called their priesthood leaders for permission to administer the sacrament...not only did they see an opportunity to serve, but they were in that moment worthy...they were ready.

It reminds me of the talk from Jeffery R. Holland…

It may not be blizzards and frozen-earth burials that we face this conference, but the needy are still out there—the poor and the weary, the discouraged and downhearted, those “[falling] away into [the] forbidden paths” we mentioned earlier, and multitudes who are “kept from the truth because they know not where to find it.” They are all out there with feeble knees, hands that hang down, and bad weather setting in. They can be rescued only by those who have more and know more and can help more. And don’t worry about asking, “Where are they?” They are everywhere, on our right hand and on our left, in our neighborhoods and in the workplace, in every community and county and nation of this world. Take your team and wagon; load it with your love, your testimony, and a spiritual sack of flour; then drive in any direction. The Lord will lead you to those in need if you will but embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ that has been taught in this conference. Open your heart and your hand to those trapped in the twenty-first century’s equivalent of Martin’s Cove and Devil’s Gate. In doing so we honor the Master’s repeated plea on behalf of lost sheep and lost coins and lost souls.

Before we departed on Saturday, President Nelson recapped our camp and bestowed promises and blessings on young men, reminding them they are part of a royal army, reserved for this time…

This camp started off with ideas of grandeur...splitting the boys into companionships, pre-missionary priests teaching the classes, simulated mission experiences, explosive activities and games, thought provoking and life changing discussions...we had it figured out.

We started off as a committee of 10 brethren back in February and it got whittled down to 3 by the end of June. Between work schedules, family life, county fairs, and other random reasons...it was apparent that we needed to focus if we were going to pull it off.

We didn’t know how many boys were going to show up, we had Kevin in Pinedale working frantically on meals and did a great job, and Darren scrabbled to get supplies and logistics mapped out...I was working with the stake on a theme and finding people to teach or lead discussions...we all agreed with the time and resources we had, we wanted to accomplish just 1 thing...feed these boys. Let’s make sure the boys have plenty to fill their bellies and that they feel the spirit as much as possible. Days leading up to the camp, I kinda felt like Nephi...not knowing beforehand the things which I should do...Nevertheless I went forth...but I’m sure we were lead to call the different people to speak...Bishop Skidmore, Bishop Erickson, Ryan Linnemeyer, Rusty Kaiser, President Deardon, Paul Kaiser, Teryn Thatcher...President Nelson.

Our goal was to move just one boy from one side of the fence to the other. Administer to that one boy that was starting to question his faith and provide an environment where he could feel the spirit and direct his focus on staying worthy, honoring his priesthood, and if he chose, serve a mission. Our hope, to help one of these young men to see his personal legend...not to find treasure at the bottom of the pyramids, or a chest of treasure, but to seek after these things...being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men...believe all things, hope all things, endure many things...pursue things that are virtuous, lovely or of good report or praiseworthy….

In the alchemist, Santiago meets Fatima at the Oasis and falls in love with her...and for a moment feels like giving up on his personal legend...for something that feels so wonderful...and a great substitute for personal legend. How many times do we allow distractions to get in the way of our purpose...girls...college...job or early start to a career...fear of the unknown. The false sense that you are putting life off for 2 years? Something that feels good and possibly even safe, even comfortable and right.

I want to finish my synopsis of the alchemist…

Santiago begins digging for the treasure at the foot of the pyramids to find his treasure and fulfil his personal legend, but two men accost him and beat him. When Santiago speaks to them about his dream vision, they decide he must have no money and let him live. Before leaving, one of the men tries to illustrate the worthlessness of dreams by telling Santiago about his own dream. How discouraging it might have been for Santiago at this point in his life...he could have stayed at the oasis, stayed with Fatima and lived a comfortable life. But the dream of the man that just beat him allowed him to see the big picture...the man’s dream is about a treasure buried in an abandoned church in Spain where a sycamore tree grows. The church is the same one in which Santiago had his original dream, and he finally understands where his treasure is. Santiago returns to Spain to find a chest of jewels and gold buried under the tree by the abandoned church. By following his personal legend, he gains knowledge and intelligence, he meets his love, grows in his own abilities and connects with God on a higher level. He obtains his treasure and plans to return to the oasis, where he will reunite with Fatima, who awaits him...

If we are on the Lord’s errand, all of the treasures that he has await for us...

For whoso is faithful unto the obtaining these two priesthood of which I have spoken, and the magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies..for he that receiveth my servants receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth my Father, and he that receiveth my Father, receiveth my Father’s kingdom; therefore all that my Father hath shall be given unto him.

This includes those worthy desires you have now...love of a spouse...a worthy career to provide for your family...comfort in the spirit...and the possibly the greatest reward...HONOR.

The Doctrine & Covenants tell us this is the most worthy pursuit…

“...and it came to pass that Adam, being tempted of the devil - for, behold, the devil was before Adam, for he rebelled against me saying, Give me thine honor, which is my power…”

And in Moses…

“And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying, That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning...behold, here am I, send me...I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it, wherefore give..ME..THINE...HONOR...and he became Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies...to deceive and to blind men, and to lead them captive at his will…

Our fallen brother even knew that true power starts and ends with honor…

What is honor…

It’s keeping commitments...it’s saying you will do what is asked of you. It’s instilling confidence in those around you that you can accomplish the tasks assigned to you. Honor is to have the ability to get people to follow you because of your courage, service, knowledge, faith, and love for them and love for your Heavenly Father. Honor is having high esteem and respect for all...Honor is the difference between a shepherd and a sheep herder...no one can lead without honor.

As a father I work tirelessly to earn the right to ask the tough questions that are coming too soon. With my 11 year old daughter, Castle, it’s playing games, singing songs, doing Legos, watching movies, and being an example of hard work and accomplishment. For Roman, it’s Pokemon hunting, building forts, creating adventure and entertainment, being patient and kind when he loses his cool...and helping him find ways to earn money for his piggy bank. Of course, I facetime for homework, reviewing their day and seeing if they need anything...I’m trying to honor my responsibility as a father...and I’ve learned some painful lessons in the past few months about what it is to have honor as a father, particularly a father physically removed from his children, but honor is more than time. Honor is co-parenting with their mother and meeting my obligations to her and supporting her. Honor is withholding their wants and administering their needs. Honor is being perfectly honest with them, helping them manage their emotions and square their shoulders to challenges of their life. Honor is listening with the intention of understanding and not hearing to respond. Honor is knowing that 5 minutes now is more important than 5 minutes later.

Our goal of camp was to get one boy to stay or get back on the path...honor his priesthood, be worthy to enter and frequently visit the temple, serve a mission…

Just like any calling...any lesson we prepare...any talk we put time and effort into...it’s that person who needed it the most. I’m confident, I was the boy who needed this camp the most...I needed to hear those warm testimonies from leaders from our stake. I needed time to consider what it means to be physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually healthy. I needed to be reminded to trust in the Lord’s timeline. I need to have this camp to create a turning point for me. I needed this camp to feel my Savior’s love.

I want to share a story from my friend Mark...he shares…

Disclosure, all of our kids are usually really good kids. But Canon, my 11-year old son, always scores bigger than his siblings from Santa on Christmas morning. I’ve watched him do this since he was 6. So how does he always make a haul? And my other kids get a lump of coal by comparison? I think I’ve cracked his code. And also learned a little something about God in the process. Say “surprise me” In October the kids start writing letters to Santa, my oldest three send epistles, they revise and resend. Until our horrible little elf on the shelf finally leaves. But Canon writes only one letter each year…”Dear Santa, you always do awesome. Please surprise me! Love Canon” Then on Christmas morning, while the other kids are opening the air force ones and new clothes, just like they asked for.. Canon thoughtfully pulls little gifts out of his stocking...Cherishing every moment. Tara and I bounce off the walls excited for him to see “The Surprise” that Santa brought him. In 2019, he got a trip to Israel with me...What if Jesus has simply answered the exact prayer of Peter, Andrew, James and John before they knew him...they would have really missed out on some things. “Jehovah, please send us more fish!” God want to maximize our lives through Jesus and he will. But we need to stop thinking we’re the experts on our own growth. After all, does a seed know that is needs water and sun to become a tree? No Jesus doesn’t offer a little change here and there. He doesn’t want Christmas lists...For you Father knows what you need before you ask him. Jesus wants a whole new creature.

C.S. Lewis said…

“The more we let God take over, the more truly ourselves we become - because he made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and were intended to be...it is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to his personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”

I hope all of us will take the opportunity to understand how important callings and assignments are...not to keep the work going forward, but to keep us going forward.

To the young men that are preparing or age ready for a mission...take the time to meditate about a mission, fast, pray, talk to someone about what it meant to them to leave behind everything comfortable for the unknown. Ask them about the friendships that are bonded over the sharing of the gospel. Ask them how it is to see someone find peace in the atonement of their Savior and be a part of that.

Saturday, August 21, 2021

Week review - goooooood week

Reviewing this last week I want to think about things that happened; where the Lord made his presence known, a time where I have failed, and opportunity to grow and an overall feeling how the week went.

Where I failed...Tuesday, we were moving gas volumes from one processing plant to another plant & placing both of those plants into recovery mode. Which is to say, simple with experience, yet tricky if things are not lining up. To make a long and complicated story short, I spent too much focus on starting a system in both plants and ignored a medium level alarm on the refrigeration system. The first time I looked at the alarm, I mentally dismissed it as minor and “chattering.” As it continued, I got annoyed...looked at the screen with the alarm and didn’t notice anything concerning.

Without looking at the screens that affected that flow both upstream and downstream, I didn’t understand or realize there was much more going on. I exhausted the initial system and flooded everything downstream without knowing about it. My lack of understanding that system could have cost the company thousands and thousands of dollars.

At that moment, I wanted to walk out and never come back. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I didn’t know what I was doing. A few days later, I can acknowledge that it was a great learning experience and understand further how to troubleshoot issues. I failed, but have valuable experience.

The opportunity to grow continued at work. The more they leave me alone in the control room, the more I am forced to learn how to navigate the system. Where I can borrow pressure, temperature, and use it to create better gas, or more liquids. I realized how much I took for granted the time this last spring, I’ve only been focusing the last few weeks...and for that I should be reprimanded...or at least have a serious talk with.

I had a great experience in the temple this week...I really need to continue making this a weekly thing. The sacrifice of 5+ hours to drive and spend, has proven both valuable, productive and uplifting. Something that I heard for the first time, God took from man a rib, made he a woman...she to be a helpmate, but did not say for man to be a helpmate to her…??? Also, heard with a clear mind, and the spirit testified to me the promises and blessings during the session...I wish I could put more here so I can remember it and revisit it often, but that’s what will happen with more visits. I know I can be better, be more, have more faith...be more obedient...sacrifice for my faith...sacrifice for patience, sacrifice for humility...sacrifice for love. His hand has been there all week.

Good week and hopeful for the same this coming week. I’ll work 5 days, 12 hour shifts, hike Mt. Timp Friday night/Saturday morning, Star Valley temple Saturday afternoon...and sometime, move my bus? If that all happens...it will be almost perfect.

Friday, August 20, 2021

Feelings are just information

I’m getting great feedback and dialog with Brett.

Hearing the comments along with processing how it aligns with my personality, what I’m trying to change, and hearing what I give back is great. Brett is making it simple, but within  it, there is depth.

When he specifically talked about my overthinking he brought up boundaries. I just jumped into her life without holding back and it wore me down. In hindsight, I didn’t need to reduce the time I spent with her, but acknowledge, like Brett brought up...know that balance is not ever going to be equal. As I look at things, I was assuming that time would eventually resurface normalcy and regular schedules. I would refind myself while she ran with hers. But while going through it I reduced myself to a relationship, rather than an individual in the relationship. Admittingly, I can now say I wanted this to happen so much, I wanted to keep up with her and I couldn’t. I got worn down and lost myself...and I know she would have preferred that I just be the best version of myself.

Another point that Brett brought up that I really liked was teaching me that my feelings shouldn’t dictate what I do. And they have...I’m an emotional person and I react. He stated that feelings are not instructions on how to act or what to do, it gives us information. The goal moving forward is to identify the emotions as they come, act with purpose and be direct.

As I interact with anyone, if I’m wondering, feeling doubt, unsure...and I even with positive feelings...joy, excitement, etc...identify the feeling, use the information to form a line of communication. What I say will also give that person information, but that’s for them to decide how to use it. But be honest, be direct, be true.

He finished with, “...don’t be scared of feelings, but it’s just information to take action.”

I like his style so far.

Thursday, August 12, 2021

Gratitute

Yesterday I wrote down my inner thoughts and frustrations with the intention of re-reading it and deleting it. The emotional dump was refreshing, and a weight was removed that seemed to make my mind work overtime.

I read a thought from a general authority, that to really know yourself, you need to write. Putting down words and finding the right way to describe my feelings has been therapeutic. Whether or not I’m being 100% honest with my entry is another conversation. And…that’s where yesterdays “ball of paper to the trash can” comes in useful.

The last two days I lashed out at a co-worker. ***Disclosure*** This particular dude is a wreck. He’s unpredictable and difficult to navigate around. Most days, I need to spend a portion of the morning massaging his needs and involve myself with his stuff.

I’m trying to turn and navigate a rather large corner in my life and it’s requiring me to make substantial changes… This whole process is exhausting and I’m not checking myself like I should. Well, I didn’t mind myself and my mouth jumped the gun, and I dumped my garbage right at his feet. Not a good moment in the life of BTC.

Last night I was on a casual bike ride and felt the need to remind myself of those things I’m grateful for. President Nelson asked us as a church to flood social media with gratitude…I need to remind myself how good I really have it. Sure, there are people that are in a better place, but I have no idea the sacrifices they have made to get there…. this time next year I hope to review my life and see a bliss life and clear path to a genuine and joyful world.

Not in any order…

Castle & Roman. I would like to go into detail how special they are. Their stark differences are wonderful blend that is selfishly perfect for me. Castle is kind, patient, content and thoughtful. A fond memory I have of her, as a toddler she would walk through each pew at church and shake everyone’s hand. When visiting city parks around town, she would go up to random kids and say, “Hi, my name is Castle, wanna play?” Her balance of playing by herself and enjoying other’s company is wonderful. Roman on the other hand…is a comedian and full of fire and passion. He is determined and when he’s focused, there’s not a wall he can’t climb over or go through. Of course, they both are learning about their limits and where they get frustrated, but that’s life and I love where they are going.

I have a great life and perspective, there’s no doubt that it come from my faith and belief in a higher power. Because of this, it keeps me between the lines. At least, more often than not. It’s not safe, nor fair to compare myself to others…BUT the complications of living within different moral guidelines have limited my pain, suffering and grief. This relationship also keeps me accountable to progression. There is a growth that I need and pushing myself in different ways. Just this last month, I’ve had the painful experience of growth. Something I should have gone through years ago, but within the eternal perspective…it doesn’t matter when it gets done, but rather the change taking place. The living gospel is something I highly value and am grateful for.

I am fortunate to have great health and desire to keep fit. I’m not sure where this comes from, but I can do all that I want, push myself to do things others only dream of, and the ability to plan and prepare for awesome adventures.

The job that I have is not for everyone, heck…it might not even be perfect for me. The income, the benefits, and the schedule are everything I need. I have the ability for overtime and promotions…and all of that allows me to pursue things that are important to me. I can visit my kids frequently, pursue my hobbies, and find new adventures…I’m lucky.

Friends…I was adding other titles…supervisors, mentors, coaches, leaders, etc to this list, but the reality, they are all friends…if not family. I would have not been able to find and re-find…AND re-find my way in this life without them. I hate to single anyone out, but specifically…Chad & Whitey have truly been heaven sent on so many levels. I cannot express enough how much they have helped me, supported me, and gotten me through some very difficult times. There have been others, but I know and pray for them often.

This might be something I regret being grateful for, but I love that I am self-aware and can recognize and acknowledge my strengths and more importantly, my weaknesses and shortcomings. They only reason I have been able to traverse through this wonderful and sometime awful life is knowing where I am and where I stand. I have a long way to go, but I’ve also came a long way.

There’s so much more to be grateful for and it’s often the little things that make these bigger things stick together. I do love my life…I’m not for everyone, but I’m grateful for those that are along for the journey.

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Giving up...not part of the plan

“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, house of fasting, house of faith, house of learning, house of glory, house of order, a house of God.”

I had a spiritual experience yesterday reading the Come Follow Me lesson, going through the scriptures in D&C and followed up with a prayer to know my position with Heavenly Father…

It’s obvious to me that I have not done this enough in my life and taking time to evaluate my position before God, my habits, my intentions, my path, and my faith. There’s always been a moral threshold that has kept me from abandoning my faith, even though I’ve drifted a few times. As I look at where I am currently am, where I’ve been and the possibilities of my future path, I must accept that I might give up…

Thinking about the different scenarios where I might give up…it would be for companionship and filling the void of being alone. I don’t think I would abandon my faith in God, Jesus Christ, and the gospel, but my activity in the church would go dormant to sustain my relationship with my companion…I hate to think I would make that sacrifice?

To safeguard from that happening, I need to stay organized and put my financial health at the front of my priorities. Followed by planning for chaos…creating additional streams of income??? Stay prayerful which will feed my hope. Fast regularly to curb my appetite and mental toughness. Strengthen my faith…regular temple and church attendance & participation. Daily study of scriptures and Come Follow Me to understand and develop purpose. Stay organized and plan for chaos.

I’m really trying to place everything in God’s hands right now…I have moments where I’m grounded and feeling good and other times where I feel desperate, alone, and empty. In those moments, I’m trying to find purpose…and it when I feel like give up the most.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Jimmy - worthwhile


Yesterday I received text yesterday from Jimmy…Dave King, with the attached picture reading, “How do you like me now!!!”

Of course, I replied, “I freaking love this!!! I wish I would have known!!!”

As I started to think of his journey towards going to the temple and getting sealed, I couldn’t help but think this is what matters…pursuing the goal of being sealed and then working together towards exaltation.

And as I review my life, I realized that I have this blessing and I really need to appreciate it more. Although Lindsey and I are no longer together, we are sealed to our beautiful kids for time and eternity…being worthy of this blessing is worth every effort to stay on the path of righteousness.

At the same time, always looking towards the horizon and seeking companionship…

It goes back to the principle of accountability that I was studying earlier this year. To really get the most out of your progression, it helps to have outside influences to keep us accountable. From my notes I have this list (who we should be most accountable to)

1. Heavenly Father – Faith

2. Spouse/companion

3. Children

4. Parents/Family

5. Employer/employees/co-workers

6. Neighborhood/community/country

7. Health/wellness/mind/body/soul

8. Coach/teacher/therapist/mentor

9. Environment/nature/life

We have been taught that there is a triangle between the relationship between ourselves, our spouse, and our Heavenly Father. The ideal plan is, the closer you move toward Heavenly Father, the close you move to your spouse. The closer you move toward your spouse, the close you get to Heavenly Father.

I appreciated Jimmy sharing this with me, I’m excited for him. He finished with…

“I have never felt so small and insignificant yet 10 foot tall and on top of the world at the same time.”

Looking forward to having those feelings again…soon.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Holy Places

Last few days, the thought of…” Standing in Holy Places” has been going in and out of my mind.

I work in a facility that is full of crudeness, rudeness, and foul sense of humor. Even though, individually, all the guys I work with are good and decent people. When the mob gets worked up, its combustible and a lot of junk gets thrown out.

I have a family, specifically myself, that has struggled with conflict resolution, temperance, and meekness, as well as being open to other’s ideas, thoughts, opinions, and paths. There is a stubborn streak in me and it’s a lack of trying to understand where that person stands.

If I am the one standing in a Holy place, I hope that I will see that person as our Father sees them…someone struggling in life, trying to the best they can when what they know. I don’t know their environment, or the circumstances, or the demons that have a grip on them. BUT I can understand the feeling of wanting to be better, the pursuit of a better life, the want to be happy…

So, I’m reevaluating how, what, and if I can do anything to put myself in a Holy place.

Here are my locations I find myself in, HOME, WORK, GYM, NATURE, CHURCH, TEMPLE, HOMES of FRIENDS, FIRE STATION, STORES, VENUES, PARKS, etc. Those are the ones that came to mind…

If I really want to stand in Holy places, there is only so much I can do to affect the physical location, but where my mind and heart are will have a great impact on my attitude, perception, and understanding of being Holy.

I can give a blessing on those places I reside, but what really matters in filling my mind, my thoughts and consuming my life with the pursuit of God, salvation, kindness, and service. Praying for those opportunities and more importantly, acting when I am prompted. The more I can tune my heart, eyes, ears, and being towards those worthy things in life, the more I will stand in Holy place.

It’s not going to hurt, to make the goal to get to the temple once a week. It will be more difficult having the Star Valley temple 90 min away compared to 15-20 mins for the Mesa or Gilbert Temple.

A thought from President Erying, write down something…where I felt like the hand of the Lord was part of my day. The other day, Ryan Davis, a missionary friend reached out to me asking about life…I appreciate that now even more than when he did…he’s always been in tune and really needed it when he did. I want to be that kind of friend.

Tuesday, August 3, 2021

I have been blessed with many admirable qualities…hard work, perseverance, determination, a healthy body, and a willing mind…but the demons that haunt me now...my level of patience, it's my achilleas heal.

It has been the torn in my side my whole life, and if I’m honest…it’s the reason for all my setbacks, short-comings, and pitfalls.

Whether it’s addiction, career path, relationships, or personal goals…I can trace back to the element of patience that has slowed, stalled, or choked my progression.

The quick path, easy road, having fulfillment now rather than flourishing later is not a quality that I’ve practiced. I’ve always wanted to consume the marshmallow now, rather than wait 15 minutes for the reward of a second.

I am being tested right now with the desire to be loved and give love…when I’m not ready to give or have either. I want my troubles to go away without the effort to dig myself out, knowing that I’ve had the time, resources, and ability to do so. Again, I want the easy path to feel good now.

This is going to challenge every part of my soul and I know that I will be better, wiser, and more appreciative, if…when I can climb out of this. (This is where I spiritually get to exercise my self-control…lots of prayer, lots of fasting)

I have let Jesika go with the hope that she will be there when I’m healthy.

It’s challenging to put her out of my head and heart, and this obsession is unhealthy.

Reassessing my goals right now:

1. Pay back child support ASAP. Right now, my main priority needs to be caring for Castle and Roman. This needs to be my new obsession. Having the ability to have rights and visitation w/ them is so important, to me…to them. If I ever do have a relationship with a girl, I want Castle & Roman to be there and along for the ride.

2. Eliminate Debt and never look back. I can’t dream with these kinds of anchors around my ankles. There’s no way to launch into prosperity if there are no resources. Sure, I can save money and slowly pay off debt, but where I am right now, I’m limiting the time to really make a financial impact on my future while I have earning power. I can take the next 5 years and save $200 and put towards investing and pay off debt? That would make me $12K and I “could” be out of debt? Or I can kill myself and get out of debt in 13-15 months, and put $400 a month towards investing…and be $19K+ at the same time? I have 12-15 years left to work. Scary.

3. Create a path/plan for creating wealth – LATER

4. Find/Develop a relationship with a girl that is meaningful; healthy physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. My GREATEST NEED and WANT.

5. Serve - EVERYWHERE

Monday, August 2, 2021

Service & Becoming more like our Savior

 

Good morning brothers and sisters.  I’ve always been a fan of movie quotes, music lyrics, and other quotes that make me think...often I’ll write them down in my pocket journal to recall later.

I’d like to share a few...

“My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”

Or

“There’s no crying in baseball”

How about…

“You’re killing me Smalls”

Or 

Big Gulps huh...well, see ya later...

Okay…these might not be motivating…but definitely entertaining and break the ice almost every time.

More serious ones…

I really like a few obscure quotes that really make me think and put into perspective a clearer path…from the Pursuit of Happyness Chris Garnder talking to his son…

“Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something, not even me. Alright? You dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.”

Another one from the live version of Cinderella…

“The greatest risk any of us will take will to be seen as we truly are.”

I really enjoy the quote from the movie Life of Pi talking about faith.

“Faith is a house with many rooms with a common guest named doubt, often visiting every floor and every room.  But doubt is useful, it keeps faith a living thing, after all you can never know the strength of your faith until it has been tested.”

A while back I listened to Randall Wallace speak at the National Prayer Breakfast.  Mr. Wallace is the writer of Braveheart, Sectretariat, and We Were Soldiers…and he shared a personal experience during his earlier career that became an iconic part of the movie Braveheart.

As he stated…

I had my embarrassments and my setbacks, but I kept writing; I moved to Los Angeles, I got an opportunity in television. I married. We had two beautiful sons. I had purpose in my life, and I worked like I’d seen my father work, with pride and passion. I won a multi-year contract with a thriving company. I bought an old home and remodeled it; I was promoted to producer. Except for an occasional mishap with my tie, life was sweet.

Then the Writer’s Guild went out on strike, which caused the company I worked for to void its contract with me. The strike went on forever, and when it was over the company was barely there anymore. I was out of work; my savings were gone. No one would return my phone calls--I’m sure that’s never happened where you work.

I kept trying, of course, I was always good at trying. But one day I was sitting at home, at my desk, staring at nothing, my stomach in a knot, my hands trembling, and I realized I was breaking down, as my father had. I feared I had failed my father, and my mother, and my grandmother. And my greatest fear was that I would fail my sons. I was afraid they would see me come apart, as I had seen my father come apart, and it would be something they could never forget.

I got down on my knees; I had nowhere else to go. And I prayed a simple prayer. I said, “Lord, all I care about right now are those two boys. And maybe they don’t need to grow up in a house with a tennis court and a swimming pool. Maybe they need a little house with one bathroom, or no bathrooms at all. Maybe they need to see what a man does when he gets knocked down, the way my father showed me. But I pray, if I go down, let me go down not on my knees, but with my flag flying.”

And I got up, and I began to write the words that led me to BRAVEHEART.

Tolstoy wrote in WAR and PEACE that in a battle, one man throwing down his weapon and running away can panic a whole army, and in a panic one man lifting up the flag and running back toward the enemy can rally the whole army.

How can you apply the principle to living the gospel of Jesus Christ…how can we be the one to lift the flag and rally our troops…

This week in Come Follow Me we got to review the story of Oliver Cowdery and his desire to be a part of the bringing forth of the Book of Mormon.  During that process both Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery received revelation recorded in Doctrine and Covenants Section 6…

“If that wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God, which is the greatest of all the gifts of God. For there is no gift greater than the gift of salvation.”

We all know this on principle…but do we pursue this with an eye single to the glory of God.

No matter how to feel about it, we can do better…

We work…40+ hours a week to put a roof over our head, food on the table and add some of life’s enjoyments where we can.

We play…vacation, exercise, hobbies, enjoy nature and the outdoors and when the Wyoming winters hit, we resort to watching TV, board games, puzzles, and unfortunately scrolling through drabs of social media.

We really have it easy…

But like Randall Wallace experienced during his breakdown…he glimpsed into all of our futures and put into perspective…and how many of us will be...as he put it...

“And dying in your bed, many years from now, would you not trade all the days from that day to this, for one chance, just one chance…to spend more time working out our salvation, building a relationship with Heavenly Father, teaching our children early on about the importance of faith, prayer, forgiveness, repentance, and service...

So how do we start, where do we start?  How do we help each other focus more on the Savior and receive the gift of salvation?  What can we do to be that soldier in a panic, that grabs the flag and rallies the entirev army to move forward?

So, what’s first?

“And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”

Seems easy, but do we do this?  I have two types of testimonies.  The one I bring with me to church and share at the end of talks and when I choose to share it...the other is on how I live, what I talk about and how people see me act and behave...I’m trying to do better with the second one.

What am I talking about…I talk about how tired I am of politics, how much I wish live music and concerts would return, spend most of my time with work, family time, hobbies, and activities?  When I facetime with my kids its usually about what they did that day, if they have any homework they want to go over or how school was...?  Talking about my faith is not an arrow in my quiver of discussions that I have on a consistent basis.  When I die, what will my obituary say...what will my family and friends say I represented...that is my real testimony.

So how do we start to talk about Christ more…

Ammon gives us a great example and method anyone can do…if we have the desire…and is just one of the many things we can do to help each focus on the Savior.

Ammon went to the land of Ishmael, among the Lamanites and was carried before King Lamoni.  He convinced King Lamoni that all he wanted to do serve the king and “dwell among this people for a time, yea, and perhaps until the day I die.”

Three days later a number of certain Lamanites scattered the flocks, and the other servants began to weep…

“Ammon saw this his heart was swollen within him with joy; for, said he, I will show forth my power until these my follow servants, or the power, which is in me, in restoring these flocks unto the king, that I may win the hearts of these my fellow-servants, that I may lead them to believe my words.”

After restoring the herd, the Lamanites came again to scatter the flocks, but this time Ammon stood forth and began to cast stones at them with his sling, yea with mighty power.  Determined even more that come forth with clubs to slay him.

But behold, every man that lifted his club to smite Ammon, he smote off their arms with this sword…now six of them had fallen by the sling, but he slew no save it were their leader with his sword.

Afterwards, the servants of the king testified to the things which they had seen, and he had learned of the faithfulness of Ammon in preserving his flocks, and also of his great power in contending against those who sought to slay him, and the King said…Surely this is more than a man.

Am I saying that through service, or perfect practice and execution at work will lead to the Governor or General Manager to ask you about your faith…might not happen?  But when we are in the service of our fellow being, we are in the service of our Lord.  When we open up the door to serve others, it leads to conversations about life, about hobbies, vacations, what we did on the weekend…thus creating an opportunity.

That brings up another great movie quote…

Great Moments are born from great opportunity. And that’s what you have here tonight, boys. That’s what you’ve earned her tonight, one game…tonight you are greatest hockey team in the world.

Isn’t all we are asking for is an opportunity…

Jeffery R Holland address General Conference in 2006 had a great challenge, he ended that talk with the following…

“This morning President Hinckley movingly reminded us that this is the 150th anniversary of those handcart companies, as the general conference was convening in October of 1856 here in the Salt Lake Valley, were staggering through the last freezing miles of Nebraska and were soon to be stranded in the impassable snows of the high country of Wyoming. He quoted to us President Brigham Young’s inspiring general conference message to the Saints, “go and bring in those people now on the plains.”

As surely as the rescue of those in need was the conference theme of October 1856, so too is it the theme of the conference and the last conference and the one to come next spring.  It may not be blizzards and frozen earth burials that we face this conference, but the needy are still out there - the poor and the weary, the discouraged and downhearted, those “falling away into the forbidden paths” we mentioned earlier, and the multitudes who are “kept from the truth because they know not where to find it.  There are all out there with feeble knees, hands that hang down, and bad weather setting in.  They can be rescued only by those who have more and know more and can help more. 

 And don’t worry about asking, “where are they?” They are everywhere, on our right hand and on our left, in our neighborhoods and in the workplace, in every community and county and nation of this world.  Take your team and wagon; load it with your love, your testimony, and a spiritual sack of flour, then drive in any direction.  The Lord will lead you to those in need if you will but embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ that has been taught in this conference.  Open your heart and your hand to those trapped in the twenty-first century’s equivalent of Martin’s Cover and Devil’s Gate.  In doing so we honor the Master’s repeated plea on behalf of lost sheep and lost coins and lost souls.

I’d like to challenge everyone to earn the right for an opportunity… to ask and discuss those difficult questions.  The best way we can do this is to invest the time.  There is no substitution for time with service, time spent listening, time understanding their concerns and challenges of their life, time praying for them, time following up with things that are going on in their life. Time asking them about their family, their work, their projects?  After we have earned that right, then we can have deeper discussions about Christ, how to rejoice in Christ, how to preach of Christ and how to help our children to know what source they may look for a remission of their sins.”

They will feel different when those conversations about the Savior and his mission are more frequent, more sincere, and with the purpose of what happiness can result from living the gospel.  When this happens, they continue the rally.

Isn’t that exactly what Ammon did…earned the right through service, execution of duties as a servant and going above and beyond what others in that same position did? He was willing to put in the time…Perhaps until the day I die?

So many ways to help each other focus on the Savior...pray with each other, study with each other, be examples to each other, but I’m confident the one thing we can do is serve each other.

Let’s not miss the opportunities that make the most of our lives.  Don’t live in fear but have the confidence to love as Jesus loved.  If we really want to help each other focus on the Savior there are so many paths to do that…But service and time served will provide us the opportunity to teach and be taught of the Savior.

I want to bear you my testimony…

David & Goliath Talk - Missionary Work

At the heart of ancient Palestine is the region known as the Shephelah, a series of ridges and valleys connection the Judaean Mountains. It is an area of breathtaking beauty, home to vineyards and wheat fields and forests of sycamore.  But it is also of great strategic importance.

            Over the centuries, numerous battles have been fought for control of the region because of the valleys rising from the Mediterranean plain offer those on the coast a clear path to the cities of Hebron, Bethlehem, and Jerusalem. The most important valley is Aijalon, in the north.  But the most storied is the Elah valley.   The Elah is where the Knights of the Crusades battled for their historic quest in the twelfth century.  BUT a thousand years before that…there was an equally famous battle recorded in the Old Testament. It was where unexperienced and untested Kingdom of Israel squared off against the armies of the Philistines.

            The Philistines were from Crete.  They were a seafaring people who had moved to Palestine and settled along the coast. The Israelites were clustered in the mountains, under the leadership of King Saul.  The Philistines began moving east, winding their way up stream along the floor of the Elah Valley.  Their goal was to capture the mountain ridge near Bethlehem and split Saul’s kingdom in two.  In contrast to the fledgling Israelites, the Philistines were battle-tested and dangerous, and the sworn enemies of the Israelites. Alarmed, King Saul gathered his men and hastened down the mountains to conform them.

            The Philistines set up camp along the southern ridge of the Elah.  The Israelites pitches their tents on the other side, along the northern ridge, which left the two armies looking across the ravine at each other.  Neither dared to move.  To attack mean descending down the hill and then making the suicidal climb up the enemy’s ridge to the other side conceding any advantage.  Finally, the Philistines had enough.  They sent their greatest warrior down into the valley to resolve the deadlock…one on one.

            He was a giant, recorded as 6 foot 9, wearing a bronze helmet and full body armor.  He carried a javelin, a spear and a sword.  An attendant came with him, carrying a large shield.  The giant faced the Israelites and shouted out: “Choose you a man and let him come down to me! If he prevails in battle against me and strike me down, we shall be slaves to you.  But if I prevail and strike him down, you will be slaves to us and serve us.”

            In the Israelite camp, no one moved.  Who could win against such a terrifying opponent?  Then a shepherd boy who had come down the Bethlehem to bring food to his brothers stepped forward and volunteered.  

King Saul objected: “You cannot go against the Philistine to do battle with him, for you are a lad and he is a man of war from his youth.”  But the shepherd was adamant.  He had faced more ferocious opponents than this.

He argued.  “When the lion or the bear would come and carry off a sheep from the heard, I would go after him and strike him down and rescue it from his clutches.”  Saul had no other options.  He relented, and the shepherd boy ran down to hill toward the giant standing in the valley. 

“Come to me, that I may give your flesh to the birds of the heavens and the beasts of the field, “ the giant cried out when he saw his feeble opponent approach.  Thus began one the history’s most famous battles.  The giant’s name was Goliath.  The shepherd boy’s name was David.

            I have always loved this story it’s been used over and over in telling the Cinderella story of over-coming the greatest of odds.  But are we looking at this story the way it is intended?  Sure, a tiny boy beating a massive brut.  King Saul…his court…his executive panel of aids, the entire Israelite army, and for sure the challengers across the valley were believed he had no chance of victory.  But David never questioned his abilities or his resolve.  

            On a side note…everyone plays rock, paper, and scissors.  Rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, and of course paper defeats rock…

In war, there is a similar kind of warriors that we can compare to rock paper scissors…. Cavalry, infantry, and artillery.  The first…cavalry are armed men on horseback or chariots. The second, infantry are foot soldiers wearing armor, carrying swords and shields.  Lastly were projectile warriors or what we call artillery…archers and more importantly in our story slingers.  Similar to Rock, paper, scissors…one warrior has a substantial tactical advantage over the other.  They balanced each other…thus making every battle strategic.

            With their long spears and armor, infantry could stand up to Cavalry.  Cavalry could, in turn, defeat projectile warriors, because the horses moved to quickly for artillery to take proper aim.  And projectile warriors where deadly against infantry, because a big lumbering soldier, weighed down with armor was a sitting duck for a slinger who was launching projectiles from up to 200 yards away.

            Goliath was heavy infantry, and it was his intention to go against an Israelite in similar battle…” come to me…” he said.  King Saul even had flawed thinking, he tried to armor David with a sword thinking that David would fight in a similar fashion.  Infantry and against infantry.  He assumed that David was going to contend with Goliath hand to hand.

            David, however, had no intention of honoring the ritual of single combat.  He tells King Saul that he has killed bears and lions as a shepherd.  

            There are so many lessons and teachings that come from this story.  One being that is shared by David’s testimony, “David said moreover, The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine.”  Trusting in the Lord and his plan for him.  Another lesson, every person, every situation has a weakness and strength that has an opposition.  We can never have 100% advantage…sometimes we are the rock, often the paper, and other times…we are scissors, and we don’t know that our rival has?

            I would like to focus my message on knowing that we are blessed and need to rely on the experiences that we have prepare us for challenges ahead.  After facing lions and bears, a large many with no mobility and sword was trivial compared to the ferocious animals attacking his flock?

            Who is our Goliath? And what experiences have we had in our life that remind us…” he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine?”

            In my message our Goliath is missionary work.  We are standing on the ridge looking out against the landscape frozen with indecision and no plan.  Wondering if we can make a difference in the Lords work and looking around waiting for someone else to step up. The story of David and Goliath is mentioned almost every championship series or tournament and new legends and fairytales are reborn from overwhelming obstacles …and same with those saints that have shared their testimony and light with others.  Asks those recent converts about the missionary or member that introduced them to the gospel how they feel about them?  Praises, praises and praises.

            I’m going to break down a few proactive things we can do…has a member missionary you are either a rock, paper, or scissors…. or if you will…you are cavalry, infantry or artillery.  We are no longer allowed to sit on the sidelines.

            Cavalry – you are mobile and talking with everyone and anyone that will listen.  Every time you talk with someone there is an opportunity to share your testimony.  It’s easy for you to move from one invitation to the next with little resistance or effect on your personal ego.  Honestly, most of us don’t feel comfortable yet with this type of approach…it works.  That’s what our full-time missionaries do, they go and go and don’t stop.

            Are you infantry…you need to study the field and the people that you approach knowing how to engage?  If you are, do you have a list of people that you are thinking about, praying about them and the approach? Is it on a sticky note on your bathroom mirror or refrigerator? Do you think about them and the opportunity to engage in a conversation?  Do you interact with them enough to earn the right to talk about your faith?

            Then there is artillery…are you passive and would rather avoid potential differences or conflict?  There is a plan for you.  Have you invited them to visit the Christmas lights at the Mesa Temple?  Listened to the choirs that are preforming?  Has there be an invitation to the Easter Pageant?  Or have you taking the path similar to Ammon, serve with all devotion and dedication until they enquire about your belief system?  Remember King Lamoni’s experience…a simple shepherd that completed all assigned tasks earning not only trust, but he said, “Yea, I will believe all thy words.”

            We all have weakness and strengths…know what your talents are and how they fit into missionary work.  There is a path and plan for you to be active in sharing the gospel.  You are never finished with the work of brings souls to Christ.  Most of us have no resistance with doing temple work but helping those that are still living…it’s a struggle.  Know that you have gone through much more difficult things in your life that sharing the gospel.  You will survive and the Lord will aid you…and if needed, he will deliver you.

            I want to share with my unique testimony…I wrote this down for a missionary friend that is currently serving in England. Understanding what I believe in, what I know to be true, and what I hope for is journey, some parts worth repeating multiple time to really know what I want and what I need. 

            A testimony is a process of wiring your system on how you will act when your belief system is tested and challenged.  The challenge is understanding that you have hardware and software…some things are locked in, and others that be removed or rewritten.  I hope that you use the next 23 months to understand that your testimony will be tested at some point. Your entire belief system will be challenged at some point…or more realistically, multiple times throughout your life.  It might be self-destroying if your belief system is not tethered down to the right anchors.  What you believe in is more than what you say, it’s what others think of your and what they believe you stand up for.  It’s what most of your conversations are based on and how you deliver it.  It’s about what your passions are invested in.  I hope that you get to know other’s testimonies and you grow yours…you will love those people the most where you share your beliefs and testimony, and they share it back with you.  That being said…

I believe in the college playoff system…

I believe in opening your Christmas presents on Christmas Day and not Christmas Eve.

I believed in love at first site as long as you are in the right light…

I believe in the curveball, breaking ball, and knuckle ball…

I believe in the Chevy…if they built their truck on the rock…that’s what I’ll drive.

I believe that you will be much happier eating healthy food that tastes good over junk food that’s delicious…

I believe that a budget is a budget because you don’t budge

I believe in equal pay for equal work

I believe in the gold standard

I believe that the market and not the government should determine success…

I believe in teaching your kids to fear is the worst thing you can do, Godly fear is more about love

I believe in great communication is just as much as saying the right thing as much as refraining from saying the wrong thing.

I believe in your dreams will reveal where your heart is and where your deepest desires lay.

I believe that hard work is import for the first half of the game, and smart work is vital to in the second half of the game.

I believe in the American Dream, and that dream takes prayer, sweat, blood, getting up early, working late, and having a coach or mentor to help you out.

I believe that you will always be happier if you choose to be agreeable over critical…if someone is in the wrong, find praise first, educate second, and add more praise to end it…

I believe there is more than enough success stories in the world, miracles are happening everywhere, be brave enough to recognize where they come from.

I believe in knowledge faith prayer and studying things out in your mind.  Not that I do it, but to make it anchor…write it down!

I believe that truth can be found in all religions and places…

I believe that unless you have a calling or career where you are asked to judge other…don’t do it.

I believe in Joseph Smith, I have never had a moment in my adult life where I have ever questioned any aspects of his experiences that are recorded in sacred scripture.

I believe in the Book of Mormon and the Bible are necessary to study, read, ponder, and gain a full knowledge of the stores, teachings, and principles so that I can deal with the pitfalls of this life and arm yourself with the truths to overcome the fears.

I believe that the restored church is exactly that, restored but truths, teachings and principles are still be revealed to us every day through the scriptures and the called leaders of this church.  We are an organization of flawed humans, and I will never allow myself to have them be between me and the gospel that offers salvation.

I believe that we have callings anchored with the power of the priesthood that allows us to be more than we are and help those that are in need.

I believe in physical, emotional, and more than anything…spiritual sacrifice…It is necessary and healthy for true happiness.

I believe in love, that is has a cost associated with it; to have it, to keep it and to offer it.

I believe that men and women can only be happy when they are in the service of each other…

I believe in music; it heals the soul and keeps the feet moving.

I believe there is evil, and it will come in sheep’s clothing.

I believe there is always a way.  Satan will then you there is an excuse, Christ has given us a way.

I believe that Judas acted with the intentions of doing good but blinded on that he though Jesus really was supposed to do and be.

I believe that true power is honey, honesty, and courage.

I believe that we all have a path.

I believe that we will all be happy and comfortable in the kingdom that we earn.

I will leave this final thought…Our brother and Savior…I believe in him.  His words, his stories, his teachings…his kindness to overlook my fears and shortcomings.  His ability to know my value to our Father and offer himself so I can return.  I know that he has the ability to remove my fears, my concerns, my inconsistencies in faith and increase my light.  

I believe him when he says he loves me.

I hope that you find him even more than you already know him now.  We all have times where we step away from him, but this time…the time of your mission will determine how fare and how long you do.

Build your faith and stay close to him.

These are the things I believe in and leave them with you, in the name of our brother and Savior Jesus Christ.

Amen.