Hearing the comments along with processing how it aligns with my personality, what I’m trying to change, and hearing what I give back is great. Brett is making it simple, but within it, there is depth.
When he specifically talked about my overthinking he brought up boundaries. I just jumped into her life without holding back and it wore me down. In hindsight, I didn’t need to reduce the time I spent with her, but acknowledge, like Brett brought up...know that balance is not ever going to be equal. As I look at things, I was assuming that time would eventually resurface normalcy and regular schedules. I would refind myself while she ran with hers. But while going through it I reduced myself to a relationship, rather than an individual in the relationship. Admittingly, I can now say I wanted this to happen so much, I wanted to keep up with her and I couldn’t. I got worn down and lost myself...and I know she would have preferred that I just be the best version of myself.
Another point that Brett brought up that I really liked was teaching me that my feelings shouldn’t dictate what I do. And they have...I’m an emotional person and I react. He stated that feelings are not instructions on how to act or what to do, it gives us information. The goal moving forward is to identify the emotions as they come, act with purpose and be direct.
As I interact with anyone, if I’m wondering, feeling doubt, unsure...and I even with positive feelings...joy, excitement, etc...identify the feeling, use the information to form a line of communication. What I say will also give that person information, but that’s for them to decide how to use it. But be honest, be direct, be true.
He finished with, “...don’t be scared of feelings, but it’s just information to take action.”
I like his style so far.
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