I want a meaningful relationship.
Right now, I don’t offer enough to attract what would be meaningful.
My feelings about my future are not consistent.
My inner dialog being spoken gets me in trouble.
One of the best ways to find fulfillment is through service.
In order to have greater mastery I need to be mindful and practice the following;
· Self control – Health, Health, Health
· More polite directness and NO passive comments – ground myself
· Know my boundaries and respect them – personal, professional, relationships
· Confidence in my moral worthiness – Kindness, service, and faith
Friday, October 15, 2021
Sunday, October 10, 2021
Find confidence in mastery
My mind wanders quite often…past relationships, future adventures, current projects, career pursuits, financial obligations, promises to posterity…as I try to feel my way through life I have moments, few steps forward, few steps back.
I know I need to learn to forgive myself for the steps back…acknowledge and embrace the atonement. Confidence is a strength that can fuel all those avenues of my life…relationships, adventures, projects, pursuits, obligation…my legacy for my posterity. Stay focus and keep moving.
There is a tug between the independence that is healthy for me and a co-pendency that I have allowed myself to fall into.
The battle that with my emotions and passion are slowly losing against calmness and balance. Self-control and patients are not my strengths…they only thing I want more than that…a wonderful, sexy, fulfilling relationship.
I know I need to learn to forgive myself for the steps back…acknowledge and embrace the atonement. Confidence is a strength that can fuel all those avenues of my life…relationships, adventures, projects, pursuits, obligation…my legacy for my posterity. Stay focus and keep moving.
There is a tug between the independence that is healthy for me and a co-pendency that I have allowed myself to fall into.
The battle that with my emotions and passion are slowly losing against calmness and balance. Self-control and patients are not my strengths…they only thing I want more than that…a wonderful, sexy, fulfilling relationship.
Tuesday, October 5, 2021
Direction...AZ will have to wait
I have lost my cool multiple times in the last week.
The frustrating part is, I want to be able to control my emotions, stay balanced and poised. It’s easy to blame my environment, but it’s not that. There’s no doubt that it’s a contributing factor…but I really would like to peal the layers back and see where the basis of my frustration is.
The easy answer…and I honestly think is the core…I’m not where I want to be. It has nothing to do with my location or my environment, but my position…lot…stage in life.
Comparing myself to my friends surfaces a lot of those emotions. I’m comparing myself to who and where I thought I would be when I was 25. I look at my friends and family…while they are on fall break or a family vacation…I’m 900 miles away from my kids, working overtime to tackle debt, little to no assets, no relationship, a job where I put too much unnecessary effort and not enough focus understanding how to move up and onward?
It’s easy to tell someone that they need to be happy with who they are and where they’re at…or learn to be happy by yourself…lots of clichés to pick from.
Previously I found happiness in accomplishment and companionship…I can’t have impact on a relationship that doesn’t exist or is present…so accomplishment is where my focus must stay.
Get out of debt…as of right now if I average $1677/every two weeks I’ll be debt free by next summer.
That goal is in site and kind of exciting, but I’m not sure where to take the next step?
Do I get back into physical accomplishment? Ironman’s? Races? Adventures? I’m not sure?
Do I focus on obtaining assets? Investments? Most likely?
Should I put effort into a relationship? My overall goal is to find…build a meaningful relationship. That’s what I would like to do, but without assets…investments…financial foundation and future, what kind of relationship do I really attract?
So…where do I start? What should I plan for? What path…environment…what framework is going to help me accomplish that for my stage of life. Meaning…45/46 years old? $100K income (right now) No real assets…little or basic retirement?
Best path is to stay right here in Kemmerer. My income will only get better, costs will stay controlled. Retirement planning between Williams 401K and pension, Fire Dept pension, and my personal planning is good…It’s a predictable and consequences are known. Financial side is high…relationship and personal activities…is LOW.
Idaho is great a good balance. My income will drop b/c the lack of OT pay…going to 40-45 hours per week? Fire Dept retirement goes away? So financial outlook drops, but the personal fulfillment and relationship outlook greatly improves.
Arizona is where my heart wants to be, but my head tells me that I shouldn’t even be considering it. My overall plan is to work frantically towards a rental property there…Air BnB and a car…giving me an awesome step for assets/financial planning? Going to AZ would be a step back in career, income, and future planning. The only advantage is being close to Castle and Roman…friends??? And potential dating?
I need to step back from looking at AZ…maybe put a few feelers out once I’m debt free…and some money saved up?
Right now, stay in Opal for the next year PLUS, but always look and pursue Williams opportunities in Idaho. Remove debt, save for 2-3 years, buy a property in AZ while I keep my expenses low here or in Idaho. That’s a plan…now I need to belief it…be patient with it…and trust it will resolve frustration and increase joy.
The frustrating part is, I want to be able to control my emotions, stay balanced and poised. It’s easy to blame my environment, but it’s not that. There’s no doubt that it’s a contributing factor…but I really would like to peal the layers back and see where the basis of my frustration is.
The easy answer…and I honestly think is the core…I’m not where I want to be. It has nothing to do with my location or my environment, but my position…lot…stage in life.
Comparing myself to my friends surfaces a lot of those emotions. I’m comparing myself to who and where I thought I would be when I was 25. I look at my friends and family…while they are on fall break or a family vacation…I’m 900 miles away from my kids, working overtime to tackle debt, little to no assets, no relationship, a job where I put too much unnecessary effort and not enough focus understanding how to move up and onward?
It’s easy to tell someone that they need to be happy with who they are and where they’re at…or learn to be happy by yourself…lots of clichés to pick from.
Previously I found happiness in accomplishment and companionship…I can’t have impact on a relationship that doesn’t exist or is present…so accomplishment is where my focus must stay.
Get out of debt…as of right now if I average $1677/every two weeks I’ll be debt free by next summer.
That goal is in site and kind of exciting, but I’m not sure where to take the next step?
Do I get back into physical accomplishment? Ironman’s? Races? Adventures? I’m not sure?
Do I focus on obtaining assets? Investments? Most likely?
Should I put effort into a relationship? My overall goal is to find…build a meaningful relationship. That’s what I would like to do, but without assets…investments…financial foundation and future, what kind of relationship do I really attract?
So…where do I start? What should I plan for? What path…environment…what framework is going to help me accomplish that for my stage of life. Meaning…45/46 years old? $100K income (right now) No real assets…little or basic retirement?
Best path is to stay right here in Kemmerer. My income will only get better, costs will stay controlled. Retirement planning between Williams 401K and pension, Fire Dept pension, and my personal planning is good…It’s a predictable and consequences are known. Financial side is high…relationship and personal activities…is LOW.
Idaho is great a good balance. My income will drop b/c the lack of OT pay…going to 40-45 hours per week? Fire Dept retirement goes away? So financial outlook drops, but the personal fulfillment and relationship outlook greatly improves.
Arizona is where my heart wants to be, but my head tells me that I shouldn’t even be considering it. My overall plan is to work frantically towards a rental property there…Air BnB and a car…giving me an awesome step for assets/financial planning? Going to AZ would be a step back in career, income, and future planning. The only advantage is being close to Castle and Roman…friends??? And potential dating?
I need to step back from looking at AZ…maybe put a few feelers out once I’m debt free…and some money saved up?
Right now, stay in Opal for the next year PLUS, but always look and pursue Williams opportunities in Idaho. Remove debt, save for 2-3 years, buy a property in AZ while I keep my expenses low here or in Idaho. That’s a plan…now I need to belief it…be patient with it…and trust it will resolve frustration and increase joy.
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