And...I'm still good.

 

24 hours later and it still feel the relief and peace about understanding the “why.”

It’s natural to look for work arounds, or justify, or find a way to make it work, but at this point, if there is a future in our friendship…relationship, it will be from her. I want to fight for her, I know I’m worth it, and I know she is worth it.  BUT…it has to come from her.

I know I did the right thing in having the discussion early.  In hindsight I could have done more and been better about this issue.  There are some other topics that I danced around that if given the opportunity I would address head on and clear the air…something I won’t mess up “next time.”

How do I approach this same subject with the next girl in my life?  It took 7 years to find someone that would go on a second date?  NOW…I’m geographically challenged and limited with my standards…

Lower my standards…move to a better location…or be fine with being alone.  The later is not an option, no man (or woman) should be alone.  It’s not healthy but life needs to be shared to be fully enjoyed.

I like my job, mostly for the income and benefits, but the schedule is pretty sweet.  When I’m on shift, I only work 14 of the 28-day schedule…it gives me plenty of time off and I can get a lot done.  This next year, I hope to pick up a lot of extra shifts and pay off my debt.  If I’m not working, I really need to stay busy and NOT spending money.

So, lower my standards?  Not necessarily “MY” standards, but maybe be okay with dating someone that’s not LDS?  I just don’t know?  Its so easy to take a step in that direction and all of the sudden find yourself…not yourself?

Move?  That’s probably my most logical choice?  I think if I work this location hard for the next 2-3 years, I’ll have choices?  I would love to be back to Arizona…kids are there, lots of friends, options to date, adventure everywhere, and accessibility to anything I want? 

Idaho, lots of unknows, but I could potentially transfer there under Williams and maintain that employment.  Arizona won’t have that option?  Whitey and his family are there, weather is great, great options for adventure and dating, but so far away from family and social comforts?

Utah…probably the lowest on my list.  But there are lots of pros…dating, adventure, close to transportation to AZ…possibly transfer with Williams??

Colorado is an option for work, and I could get paid pretty well, but no comforts of family and friends.

Right now, I’m locked into Kemmerer/Opal.  I’m happy with that and know the risks, rewards, consequences, dangers, and blessings.