Distractions

It's been a long time since I have felt poised, balanced, on solid footing with my present and future.

I just erased 50+ lines I wrote about work, the current vibe, and some random thoughts.  Probably shouldn't post anything...positive, negative, or neutral.  For the most part I like the pay, benefits, schedule and most of the people I work with.  Everything else feels...unstable and a bit unsure.

With Chuck's passing, only seeing my kids every 3-4 weeks, not really knocking big blocks off debt, and training for the Ironman...I feel like I'm somewhat reckless about where I want to be and staying focus on how to get there.  Like I need to grow up.

A while back I wrote down a few things that I really want...

1. A meaningful relationship with intimacy, honesty, humor & growth (even though it's #1, its not the most important)
2. A powerful bond of trust, friendship, and integrity with Castle & Roman
3. Be debt free with multiple streams of income
4. More consistency with habits, hobbies, activities, and service

I have Arizona Ironman in November, St. George North American Championship Ironman in May and Sharkfest in San Francisco in June...I should have most of that out of my system.  I really need to hunker down, save money, invest, pay off debt, etc....

Two ways...conservative...pay off debt as fast as I can.  Or the high-risk...save, invest, pay off debt & still have assets that are bringing in money?  I have about 10 months to figure it out. But in the meanwhile, do the minimum to pay off debt.

The more I think about things I realize how out of focus my life is.  I came to Wyoming to find stability and the only thing I really have is income...and I'm not managing it well.

I probably travel too much to Arizona.  I spend too much on concerts.  The costs of racing and the prep of it is unnecessary.  Visits to Utah end up being a few hundred dollars and then Amazon Prime...yea, need to curb it all.

Maybe in a year or two, when debt is paid off...I have a condo in Arizona & a car that I'm "Turo-ing" I can start to consider traveling, racing & concert hoping.

Wishing myself good luck/stubbornness